Like many other countries, Ireland offers citizenship by descent, meaning you can apply if you have a parent or grandparent who was born there. It took me several months to gather three generations’ worth of documents proving I had grown up with a Wexford-born grandfather, and another full year for my application to be approved. I quit my job, organized some freelance writing gigs and moved to London at the end of 2008. (Irish citizens have the right to reside in Great Britain)
I would probably still be there if I hadn’t had a child and realized how hard it is to live far away from my family. After more than a decade abroad, I moved back to the United States in 2019. There’s so much I still miss about expat life: Sunday roasts, free museums and having other people to talk to about things Gavin & Stacey Christmas special with, for starters, but there are also a lot of things I don’t do. As someone who is allergic to administrative work, filing tax returns in two countries every year filled me with dread. Moving back to the US was both expensive and time-constrained, which meant missing holiday gatherings, close friends’ weddings, and, worst of all, both of my grandmothers’ funerals. And yes, the rumors are true: England is very rainy.
However, these challenges may not deter the increasing number of Americans who are reportedly considering an international move due to a new administration, although politics is certainly not the only thing sending people abroad. Some go to work; others get the feeling that they are on perpetual vacation. In my case it was professional burnout and a desire for adventure. And for Chrissy Gruninger it was… severe allergies.
‘Bad days can happen anywhere’
In 2012, Gruninger, a native of California, moved to Costa Rica due to her health. “After years of daily suffering, an immunologist finally diagnosed me with an allergic reaction to cold, dry environments,” Gruninger tells Yahoo Life. “With that information, I decided to take the plunge and move to Costa Rica.”
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Gruninger applied for residency as soon as she moved with ten bags and her 17-year-old cat, Harmony, in tow. It took about six years for the application to actually go through; it is “one of the lessons that the experience of living abroad has taught me,” she says. “Patience and perseverance are an essential part of the mentality you need to adopt when living abroad.”
Grüninger, author of Moving to Costa Rica simplified, is now a relocation consultant and expat expert who helps others navigate the process of setting up a home in a new country. And while there are things she misses about California—namely redwood forests and Trader Joe’s—she’s only been back to the U.S. once in the more than a dozen years since she moved, and for just 36 hours. “I had to renew my driver’s license,” she explains. “Costa Rica is my home now.”
But that doesn’t mean life is always easy there. “Bad days can happen anywhere,” Gruninger notes. Many people see expat life through “rose-colored glasses,” she adds, and think that moving is a way to “leave their problems behind” without the challenges that lie ahead (such as language barriers, loneliness and not having all the conveniences) to fully understand. within easy reach from home). She also discourages wannabe expats who say they want to “live like a local.”
“While the intention is good, it stereotypes everyone in that country and does not reflect the true diversity of experiences,” Gruninger says. “It is also important to remember that not everyone in their new country will welcome their presence. If they are not aware of the problems faced by the local population, their arrival could do more harm than good. I highly recommend taking a deep dive to understand the challenges in the country, learn how to minimize the impact as a foreigner and adapt and assimilate as much as possible.”
‘It doesn’t always feel like a holiday’
At the age of 25, New Yorker Alicia Barnes found herself at a crossroads. “I felt burned out by my… [public relations] job in New York and fed up with the dating scene,” she tells Yahoo Life. “And my love of movies told me that London was the place where I could find a prince charming, get a fresh start and make my life feel more balanced.” When her apartment lease expired, she saw it as an opportunity to cross the pond.
Even though she knew it would be difficult to get a visa to Britain, the process was still “harder than I expected,” Barnes says of applying to companies that offered sponsorship visas to qualified workers. “I’ve been talking to everyone to find a way to stay here.”
By the time she got a visa, there was even more red tape. “I was surprised at how difficult it was to set up a bank account,” says Barnes. “Only a few banks wanted to allow me to set something up. Ultimately I also struggled to get a mortgage as I was not from Britain and again had limited banking choices.” Other pain points: the costs of extending her visa. Filing tax returns. Needs to keep track of how much time she spends outside Britain. And although she no longer pays for health insurance, her income in London is less than what she earned in New York.
There are also cultural differences. “I miss food, family and friends – the three Fs,” says the marketing manager. It’s easier to read Americans than Brits, she adds. ‘There are certain expressions or mannerisms that people say or do that make me question how I carry myself. For example, people talk about a pop sensation or an old children’s game and I think, ‘What?’ Or the spelling of a word is slightly different, so I need to make sure I know that for my daily work. I’ve also struggled with the fact that most people have childhood or school friends and it doesn’t seem to be worth the effort for them to make more. It is difficult to force someone out of their bubble to talk.”
On the plus side, Barnes has met her Prince Charming, and she and her British husband are parents to a 1-year-old daughter. Government programs have helped cover some of the child care costs, but it’s tough not having your own family nearby. “I’m not sure we will stay in Britain permanently,” said Barnes, who wants her daughter to have more time with her family. “I end up doing a lot of FaceTime with my family to make sure she knows who everyone is.”
Looking back, she wishes she had had more realistic expectations. “Living abroad can be magical, but it doesn’t always feel like a holiday,” she says.
‘Bloom where you are planted’
Like Barnes, Kelly-Anne Lyons is raising her family abroad. Lyons, originally from New Jersey, moved to London a week after graduating after a British modeling agency offered to sponsor her. Over the next decade, she married, had her first daughter (No. 2 due soon) and moved into some acting and television presenting work, which required another work visa. In 2012, she became a dual American and British citizen.
About three and a half years ago, Lyon made another international move: Paris. Her husband’s work prompted the move to France, and Lyons now documents her adventures as a content creator known as American Mom in Paris.
While she’s no stranger to expat life, Lyons says it can be harder to adjust to a new country the second time around. For starters, all paperwork and visa interviews are of course in French. “The language is the biggest challenge,” she says.
When she first moved to London, Lyons had to “adjust to little things like measurements and temperature when cooking, but also big things like navigating the subway, a new healthcare system, taxes, etc,” she says . “But I had my husband and his family and friends for advice, which was extremely helpful. It also makes a huge difference when things are in English. Moving to France was a little more challenging.”
After about two decades abroad, Lyons has learned to live without her family around, but “there’s always an underlying sense of guilt,” she says. “That feeling never goes away and gets worse when you have children.” Although she is spoiled for choice when it comes to croissants, she has yet to find a bagel that tastes as good as the one at home. And although Emily in Paris does an excellent job of capturing the glamor and magic of Lyon’s adopted city, but it doesn’t mention, for example, “crowded metro rides at rush hour.”
But there are also many positives: new friends, the ease of traveling around Europe and the chance to experience life through a fresh cultural lens. It’s important to “bloom where you’re planted,” she says. In her experience, expats who embrace their new environment and avoid comparisons with the way things are at home are usually happier.
Also important: remember that you can always move.
“When my husband asked how I felt about moving to Paris, I said I’d rather be on my deathbed laughing about the time we tried to move to Paris and all the things that went wrong than be on my deathbed with sorry I didn’t know. what would have happened if we had tried Paris,” says Lyons. “Happily, I’m on my deathbed saying that moving to Paris was one of the best decisions we made!”