You may have heard of the “Gray Rock Method” and Socratic questioning as possible tactics to diffuse toxic behavior. The first, according to PsychCentral, is a strategy in which “you deliberately remain unresponsive or uninvolved so that an abusive person loses interest in you.” You are essentially a rock. This is similar to Farmani’s advice above, where he advises staying emotionally detached and not taking things personally. Meanwhile, according to Verywell Mind, Socratic questioning is “a communication style that allows one to stimulate another person’s thinking through open-ended questions.”
Farmani says both can be effective ways to deal with a toxic coworker, but they have different purposes, so know what you’re trying to achieve before entering into a conversation.
“The Gray Rock Method is an extremely useful strategy when dealing with narcissistic individuals,” he says. “By minimizing emotional involvement you are actually depriving the toxic person of the attention or response he or she is seeking, which can lead to him or her losing interest and moving on to someone else. Asking Socratic questions is useful if you want to encourage self-reflection without directly confronting the individual. Instead of attacking their behavior, guide them in thinking about their actions by asking questions like, “Why do you think that?” or ‘What does that mean for the team?’ Both strategies require mindfulness, which can help you hold your emotions rather than lashing out at the individual.”